Here’s a little bonus post for you ❤️
6 months ago I quit Instagram. I wrote all about the initial decision here, admitting to some unflatteringly compulsive behaviors that I know are not unique to me. In fact, the more I share about finally cutting myself off from Instagram, the more people reveal that their social media use feels addicted, too: like it’s deteriorating their quality of life in ways they hadn’t wanted to confront because, as I’ve said before, it’s kind of embarrassing to admit that you’re a mostly well-adjusted adult with a uncontrollable urge to scroll. I’m yet to meet someone who feels really great about Instagram. In fact almost everyone seems to be pretty icked out. I have one friend who claims its impact on her is neutral. But, she also has an influencer account for her dog, so, I’m not buying it.
Maybe it feels dramatic to say that getting off a social media application has changed my life, but what I mean when I say that is that my attention is mine again. And to be an agent of my attention, to choose what I engage with in my free moments, to decide how to fill the empty space, to take in a beautiful view, to ooooh and ahhh with the people there to witness it with me, to not even consider sharing it virtually…these micro moments become macro over time.
There’s not question that at the time of quitting, I was in Instagram’s grip. Quitting was HARD. I had withdrawals! I was uneasy, on edge, VERY uncomfortable. I sometimes scrolled my own camera roll to scratch the itch. But now, it’s like healing from a breakup. An absence that was once potent has completely lost its charge. So much so that I almost feel silly writing about it, like who cares! It’s just an app! But then I remember that just six months ago I felt trapped, so here’s an incomplete list of what’s different since leaving Instagram:
I have fewer haphazard urges —
When I was on Instagram I found myself bookmarking recipes, clicking links for Amazon tea organizers, screenshoting journal prompts, suddenly wanting to rearrange my living room. The constant onslaught of things to buy, habits to form, food to eat, self improvement to do, events to attend, petitions to sign. I couldn’t get a grip, it felt like to-dos were being flung at me from every direction and at an impossible rate. Now, I buy new toothpaste when I run out, I workout when I have time, I attend events I hear about from a friend. The pings are slower and their sources have threads to my actual life.
I pull from a narrower (but deeper) well of inspiration
When I was on Instagram I found myself exposed to too much information, too many conflicting ideas. I was overwhelmed by the perspectives of supposed experts. Is kale poison? Do I have to get rid of all my skinny jeans? Do I need to sync my workouts to my cycle? I couldn’t pick out barstools for my kitchen without consulting the interior design accounts. Should I be resting or mobilizing? Donating or protesting? Why was everyone reading the Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo? I read it and its was truly not good!
Maybe this one is the same as the last in a way, but what I’m getting at is I can hear my own thoughts, I can access my own taste, and instincts, and cravings! I seek out support, alternative perspectives, and inspiration from actual people, from books, from researched and long form sources. And I seek it out when I actually have the time, energy, and need to absorb it, rather than a post appearing in my feed right before I fall asleep.
My mind moves slower.
Before I quit Instagram I felt a mysterious sense of urgency that I couldn’t attribute to any real-world source. Even when there was no rush, I was rushed. In every moment I was thinking about the next. In my last post on quitting Instagram, I wrote “Books weren’t as engrossing, songs seemed too long, my nervous system felt perpetually lit up, flitting around like a caffeinated squirrel. I fantasized about life without it - HOW PURE, HOW VIBRANT, HOW SIMPLE. And yet, I couldn’t pull myself away.” Since being off Instagram, everything has slowwwwwed wayyyyy down. I can focus on one task a time. Presence feels like a a real thing, not a trendy ideal professed by wellness influencers. Without the constant app checking, I have more time and I use that time more efficiently. All those hours wasted are mine again. I can lock in. Flow is accessible in any moment. Without the constant urge to scroll, I find myself absorbed in reading, writing, parenting, communing. It’s exactly what I’d hoped I’d gain from quitting Instagram. It delivered.
In a recent Hidden Brain episode on contentment (which I referenced in my last post), I learned that the people report high levels of happiness when they enter a flow state, which happens when we are completely absorbed in a(n) (often creative) task. The researcher being interviewed suggested that flow begets happiness because when we are in flow the self dissolves almost completely. I think maybe this is what we turn to Instagram for, to escape ourselves - to achieve what
from described feeling (or not feeling) when on TikTok: “I ceased to perceive myself. Time skipped forward.” It sounds like flow, but it’s a synthetic, fleeting version. Unlike flow, we don’t feel happier on the other side. Instead we’re left feeling gross, jealous, wired, inadequate. The time is gone and we have nothing to show for it.My sphere is smaller and I’m slower to be in the know.
When I ran my nonprofit, Instagram felt vital. Like many business owners, it was where I promoted my work. It was where the brand took shape. It was where I researched like-minded organizations, connected with people in the field, stayed abreast of community happenings where I might be able to share my work or connect with colleagues. I don’t know if the pandemic changed things, if the cultural tide is turning, or if I’ve just been off of it long enough to see that it can be done differently. But, what I’m getting at here, is that I encounter less “people” on the daily basis, yes. I may be slower to be in the know, too, but now I get my news from actual news outlets. I still engage with community, but now it’s by seeking out gatherings, by texting friends who are in the loop, by reading the bulletins at coffee shops, libraries, and community centers. Ultimately, I don’t feel I’m missing out on anything. Before, I knew about all the happenings and didn’t have the capacity to do most of them. Now, I know less and I do more.
I just feel better.
Being less involved in the lives of people I don’t actually know or only know peripherally has been really, really NICE. I didn’t think I was someone impacted by the inevitable comparison that comes with Instagram, but with some distance I can see I was. I just feel better. More confident. More satisfied. More content. Less like I should be doing it all differently. I think, also, there may be something to the follow through. I knew I needed to quit and I did. That has been confidence building, too.
Okay, I could go on. But let’s leave it here for now. No shade if you dig Instagram. Maybe it works for you. I’m just here to report if it doesn’t, you can quit. And as is the theme of my life lately, a lot of good springs from quitting.
Let me know how your feeling about IG (or any social media) of late in the comments!
With love,
Stephanie
Congratulations on your 6 months! It has been a little over a year for me since I deleted my Instagram account, along with Facebook, and Strava. I'm so happy I never had TikTok and won't go down that road. Time and perspective has only served to make social media even less appealing to me, and I'm so thankful for the decision I made last year to live my own life more deeply. Looking back, I feel like Instagram was mostly just people positioning themselves as lifestyle experts, seeking validation and attention and/or money. I know I'm generalizing, but I just don't need that firehose of contrived media. I released myself from the job of keeping up with other people, and gave myself the gift of focus, time, and knowing my tastes more.
I have The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo on my reading list. After your review, I feel less rushed to get to it. Social media is so time consuming and with the AI component actively putting content to keep us engaged for long periods of time is scary. I have been focusing on audiobooks and physical books. My goal has been 2 books a month (1 personal growth/1 entertainment) I am already 5 books down.